60-year-old father of the groom refuses to wear traditional clothing for Hindu wedding, gets annoyed when son insists he wear it: 'It includes a skirt type piece that I don't like'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Mar 18, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

It is a well-established fact that pretty much any wedding can become a hotbed for disagreements and drama, and one of the more common topics to prompt this is the dress code. It is amazing how much a simple theme or a couple of easy-to-follow rules will be disregarded or contested by certain guests or even members of the bridal party. People get precious when dressing for special events, sometimes even more so when they are close to those who are planning them.

Occasionally, it can be reasonable to disagree with requests that are made about how you should dress for something. However, much of the time any protests boil down to personal issues that an individual might have, whether with themselves or other people. While comfort is important, accommodating certain styles of dress, especially if they are tradition, is often the best option if you want to enjoy an event.

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    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

  • This is something that one dad was grappling with after he rejected the outfit that his son's future in-laws hoped he would wear to his wedding. His son was marrying a Hindu woman, and they were opting for a traditional wedding in that style including the clothing that came with it. 

    While not religious, the dad objected to this as the style of the clothing. The bride-to-be's family relented, his son pushed for him to accept the traditional outfit. He wasn't sure if he was right to decline. 

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    WIBTA for not fully engaging with my son's fiancé's family traditions?

    Hi everyone, My son is getting married to a hindu women. We are a non religious family so he has opted to embrace the traditions of his partner and her family. As such the wedding will be a full on traditional hindu wedding. I've been asked to wear the traditional clothing of their tradition. It includes a skirt type piece that I don't like.
    via Ok_Bullfrog1222
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    I told my son I'm not comfortable wearing that since it's not my culture plus in my country, I want to dress like my countryman. But it seems there is a hard stop on this since to participate in the religious ceremony I need to wear it. I've told them I'm more comfortable wearing something with trousers that isnt the tradition. They have accepted that I can wear the trousers but my son is being stubborn and wants me to wear the real traditional clothing. My wife is very excited to be wearing the
    via Ok_Bullfrog1222
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    Am I the asshole for not wanting to wear hindu clothing to my sons hindu wedding? edit: to clear up some confusion I am M60 and this is the type of clothes i'm being asked to wear. The reason I need to wear it I believe is because i'll be on the stage participating in the actual ceremony
    via Ok_Bullfrog1222
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    via Ok_Bullfrog1222
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    Commenters wasted no time putting him in his place.

    1962Michael YWBTA if you attend the ceremony and DON'T conform to the dress code. This would be true for ANY wedding. You're the father of the groom but you're acting like the sullen teenage younger brother who doesn't want to wear a suit. It's a religious ceremony. You don't have to be part of it if you aren't comfortable with it. But it's incredibly rude to insist on attending and refusing to follow the wishes of the bride and groom. I'm pretty sure the reason that your SON is the one insistin
    via 1962Michael
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    I attended a Catholic wedding two weeks ago. I'm Protestant. They of course do a whole Mass including Communion. I sang the responses. I stood when others stood, and I sat when they said "sit or kneel." They quite clearly indicated that non-Catholics were not to take Communion, so I didn't. As a guest at THEIR religious ceremony, I did what THEY wanted a non-Catholic to do. You would do well to remember that the wedding is NOT ABOUT YOU. It's about being supportive of the bride and groom. It's n
    via 1962Michael
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    EDIT: To respond to OP's edit. OP clarifies that he is being asked to be "on stage" and PART OF the ceremony. If he wanted to simply attend and observe, he wouldn't be being asked to wear the traditional garb. And that he can change clothes for the reception, if he wants. This is a completely normal and reasonable ask by the bride and groom. If you don't want to wear the correct clothing, don't be IN the ceremony. I'm M62 if it matters, and as I've mentioned in other comments, I have worn "Bibli
    via 1962Michael
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    Discount_Mithral Gently - YTA. You're letting some kind of weird toxic masculinity get in the way of celebrating a moment with your child. If you proceed with wearing something different than everyone else because you don't want to wear "a skirt type piece that you don't like" you'll be ostracizing yourself. YOU will be the one standing out because of your own insecurities. Just wear the traditional garb for a few hours, I promise you'll be fine, and no one will make fun of you.
    via Discount_Mithral
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    SunflowerMoonwalk This. I was totally on board with OP at first because I thought he objected to participating in a religious ceremony that conflicted with his beliefs. Turns out he's just too uptight to wear a skirt.
    via SunflowerMoonwalk
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    Southern Trauma Oh. Too manly to wear a dhoti. Dude, get a grip. It's not a freaking skirt, and you're not going to become transgender just for wearing it. JFC.
    via SouthernTrauma
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    Plasticity93 But what if he feels pretty when the dhoti goes twirly-twirly?
    via Plasticity93
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    MustangTheLionheart Yes, YWBTA if you don't full engage with the traditions your son and his fiancé has chosen to embrace for their wedding. This is not your wedding or birthday or celebration of any kind so unless the garment they're asking you to wear is physically uncomfortable and causing pain or far more expensive than what you can afford then you should just embrace it. They have accepted that I can wear the trousers but my son is being stubborn and wants me to wear the real traditional cl
    via MustangTheLionheart
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    His fiancé and her family are just trying to be polite, they don't want to cause a scene and they certainly don't want you to cause one at the wedding. She is being overly accommodating for your masculine fragility, not because it's actually ok to go against their wishes for tradition. Additionally your future daughter in law of course wants to make a good impression on you and doesn't want you to resent her for this simple request that you're currently being a child about. Your son is standing
    via MustangtheLionheart
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    geenersaurus he's still wearing pants! he says a "skirt" but if you look up any men's hindu wedding clothing, it's just a long tunic with pants underneath and seems much more comfortable than a western men's suit. It feels weirdly misogynistic in that he's afraid to wear anything percieved as feminine and skirt- like would this even be a question if the fiancée was scottish and he had to wear a kilt, which is more like a skirt than a tunic?
    via geenersaurus
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    Roam 1985 YTA, You're non-religious, but you still are going to a religious ceremony. So the rules of the ceremony apply. Don't risk insulting your future in-law's religion and culture when you're invited to a celebration of it, it puts your son in a really painful spot with his wife. That said, you don't have to stay in the traditional garb. Take the clothes you want, and change between the ceremony and the reception.
    via Roam1985
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    BuzzySwarm Maybe take this as a bonding opportunity with your future Daughter in Laws father. Maybe have your son invite the both of you out so you can learn about why the clothing is how it is and what the meaning is. Also, if you can go maybe to your DILs Father's favorite shops for this you can appreciate it a little more. I appreciate that you're not trying to appropriate and be disrespectful, but it sounds like part of your hesitation is coming from not enough knowledge. Give it a shot. Wha
    via BuzzySwarm
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    Wise_Patience7687 As the father of the groom, you will be heavily scrutinised by the bride's family. Refusal to wear the traditional clothes will give them the impression that you believe they're not good enough for your family and that you're against the marriage. No-one can force you to wear anything you don't want to, but don't be surprised when you don't get to see your son and future grandchildren as much as you'd like. Choose to wear something that is actually quite comfortable for a few h
    via Wise_Patience7687
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    Positive-Ad5082 YTA. You're not religious, by your own admission, so just wear the outfit. Embrace another culture for a day or two, you'll survive! You may even have fun. It's not like you'll be the only male wearing this outfit, the majority of the other attendants will be, too. This could cause a serious rift between you and your child, and it really doesn't seem worth it.
    via Positive-Ad5082
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    TemptingPenguin369 YTA. You don't have to be excited about wearing it; you should wear it for your son's special day because he wants to you. Just like if he'd picked a hideous tuxedo for you to wear and you didn't want to wear it, you'd still wear it, right?
    via TemptingPenguin369
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    duke_of_ted YTA... You're kinda being a big baby. So what if it's a "skirt" like thing? They're actually quite comfortable. Step out if your comfort zone and live a little. Nothing about the garb is atrocious or compromising.
    via duke_of_ted
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    FistsForHire YTA Sure, no one can *make* you wear it. But you come off as a big baby. As other people have commented, it's not a skirt. Calm your tits. You're not going to "feminized" by wearing traditional Hindu menswear. And I guarantee you if everyone else is fitting the couple's wedding aesthetic and you refuse you are going to stick out like a sore thumb. Everyone will be silently judging you for years to come and your son is going to get secondhand embarrassment from his dad not being able
    via FistsForHire
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    Ok-Bank-9051 YTA - every wedding has some sort of dress code. You're just used to a tux or suit. You're acting like a petulant child "i don't wanna wear that" stomps and crosses arms Grow up
    via Ok-Bank-9051

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